Whew...that was a long time..

Hello friends... Is anyone still out there? Am I still in anyone's blog roll?

I wish I could tell you I have been off traveling the world or doing something equally as fantastically fun, but that is not the case.

Here is a little note I wrote about a month ago...

Depression is lonely
Depression is scattered
Depression is not sleeping
Depression is over eating
Depression is physical pain
Depression is intense emotions
Depression is putting a smile on when you aren't having any fun.
Depression is feeling alone and pushing everyone away
Depression is faking it but never really making it
Depression is tears and rage and dismal
Depression is yelling and screaming for no good reason
Depression is pushing your husband away but you don't want to be alone
Depression is a slippery slope into a chasm of empty
Depression is Me..


Four months ago while searching Dr. Google for the answer to my insomnia, I was regularly functioning on 3 to 4 hours of sleep day in and day out, I stumbled upon this quiz from our new health insurance.
I took the test for three days straight before I said a word to anyone. It took another 2 months before I saw the doctor. I am a fake it til you make it girl that was/is severly depressed. I had spent the last 3+ years thinking I could shake this off and nothing was shaking except my interest in life. I was embarassased by a label of weakness that I was placing on myself. Today I am on medicine and I am getting better slowly. I was at the bottom of a very deep hole and it will take some time to get out. I miss my life, I miss me, I miss being a part of the awseome things that God has given me. I'm sorry for my actions to myself but more importantly to others especially my family.


Life is too hard to do alone and we shouldn't give up. If you feeling these things or if you take the test and the results are not favorable seek out a doctor to help you. More than anything life is worth living fully.


Much Love....

H

Clean up on Aisle 5!!

I kind of eluded to the purpose of this post on Sunday in my Getting to Know You post. It's all about the plans for my blog or lack there of...

Several weeks ago I participated in Friday Follow. Friday Follow introduced me to many wonderful new blogs that I follow and helped that little follower number over there on the right climb to 140+, but I have some buyer's participant's remorse. I never realized how many giveaway/review blogs there are out there. When I initially participated I thought that number over there was somehow associated to my blog's fame and more importantly to my self-worth. For the longest time I thought I wanted more from my blog.
I thought maybe just maybe this blog could be bigger. Nevermind the fact that I'm just an ordinary overweight middle America woman, it could happen to me. I could add advertisements, and wow the masses with my wit and storytelling. Then I got to thinking about the women that do that for a living and evaluated what they deal with. Many "famous" bloggers have turned off their comments so there is no interaction with their readers ever, some now travel and have to (choose to) leave their families/children for extended periods of time, all of them appear to be under a microscope. Let them not say one thing then change their mind, make a mistake, or pick their butt the wrong way someone will surely write about it somewhere.
That's when I had my epiphany, this blog is for me. My objective to blogging is not to enter every and any giveaway ever offered. I do occasionally participate on the giveaways where I already read regularly. While I will always long for more comments the truth is that I have come to enjoy the friendships that I have forged in Blogland.

Like---

Kate and knowing that her fur baby just graduated from obedience school. GO WILLOW!!
Arizona Mamma just won an on-line photo contest and is facing a difficult decision about selling her horses
Adriane may or may not be teaching her 18 month old twin girls to curse like sailors or they don't say shirt so well
Mama M. is apparently an inappropriate giggler and frequently chatter about having a baby, like the pushing part.
Megan just finished the busiest part of her working year and is now enjoying ball games with her boys.
Keely is currently schlepping her babies back and forth across town because she is a good mama and doesn't want to change her kids school near the end of the year.
Brianne (aka The Photog Nazi) has a love for punctuation, making up her own awards, and snapping photos of her babies
Courtney who apparently takes her children to casinos and all around the town.

There are many more blogs that I read regularly so please please please don't be upset if you aren't on the list it does not mean I have stopped reading your blog.

So while many others lament over the loss of a follower, I say if you don't read here  (though I guess it's not likely that you are reading this) un-follow or unsubscribe. I promise I'll be ok, I'll put on my big girl panties, and I'll get over it. Oh! wait I only have big girl panties. BAAAAhAHAHAAHA...

I will also be overhauling my blog roll to include the blogs I truly read and invest my time in. I will not un-follow anyone knowing that it can cause such upset feelings and my objective is not to upset anyone. Finally I have hosted my one and only giveaway here. I doubt there will be anymore but, if an amazing opportunity presents itself I hope to not having becoming a follower as an entry. (Uh-oh I think I just picked my butt wrong with those two sentences)

Why do you blog?

I'm all a flitter

when it comes to twitter.

I admittedly don't get it. It seems like a great way to really really connect with all the people I've grown to admire and care for in this here blogosphere, yet I feel like all the cool kids are doing it  I'm standing on the outer circle.

Don't get me wrong I do understand the 140 character limit, I know how to log in and update, replying and messaging is super easy when I'm logged in. But there are people that tweet (is that the correct term?) all day long. Tweet that come from txt, tweetdeck, ubertweet and tweetie, what the heck are those things? How can I twitter twit tweet from my phone? Is it like text messaging? Where is the manual? If you tweet from your phone do you type in the person's user name or is there a phone number?

"@from3to5- Really you don't get it? It's really not that hard."

I'm sure it's not but I feel like a twitter ninny. I think I understand DM (Direct Message) & # (not sure the point).

Do you need a smart phone? Am I in trouble if this is what I'm working with?  

Yes the buttons really are that huge. Yes I really do need to push #7 4 times to make a 's' appear. I washed my other, better phone and I will continue to blame post pregnancy brain. Thankfully our contract is due for renewal which means a new phone hopefully this weekend.

So do you tweet? Do you have any suggestions for this relatively intelligent struggling gal?

Inquiring Minds

**First thanks to everyone for there very supportive comments on my last post. I appreciate the support and that no one judged, love you, all of you, thank you so much for your friendship.**

On with the show...

You asked, because I asked you to, and I answer. If you still have a burning question you just need to know about me. Please leave is here. Now onto the questions that have already been asked.

Kate-
When you met your husband, was it love at first sight?
Let’s answer this delicately; NO I thought he was very very handsome, but weird. I had just met my friend in real life after having met her over the phone and was being set up on a blind date with someone else. My husband was their babysitter that night and was writing his name over and over again on a piece of paper.


How many children did you WANT to have, how many WILL you have?
I always wanted 3, now I have three and I’m about 95% sure I want one more. My husband wants one more.


What is your most favourite thing about blogging?
Most favourite, would have to be all the people I have “met”. I feel like I really know many of you, I care about you, your lives, your kids. I cry and pray for people I’ve never met. I hope to be encouraging, humorous, and supportive to all that I now call friend.


P.S.- Kate I left favourite spelled with a "u" just for you even though my spell check didn't like it, nothing but love Kate..nothing-but-love.


Elizabeth and The Crayon Wrangler-
Love the ears hang low song. See my original post.

The CW wants to know about my ears.

My ears do not hang low, and I certainly cannot tie them in a knot or tie them in a bow, BUT I do have something to share about the ears in our family.
After seeing photos of my husband when he was younger I am pretty sure all of my children look just like him. Yes, I’m salty about this, I mean for goodness sake all that we women go through when pregnant and not one of my kids could have grey/blue eyes or blonde hair, COME ON!! (That takes us back to Kate’s second question, this last kid best look like me, just sayin’) Any who ears, yes we were talking about ears. I have detached lobes; I thought everyone in the world had detached lobes. Not so much, the hubs has ATTACHED lobes (which I just noticed recently, unfortunately I pride myself on being perceptive, notsomuch). My kids, well that is the one trait of mine that they inherited, all of them have detached lobes, not quite enough in my book to conclusively determine they are mine you know if they get lost in Target or something.


Brianne-
Holy Flippin’ Friday Follow, seriously you need to try it.


Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many, and of what?
No, I would love to get one or two or three. I would get a stargazer, my favorite flower on my shoulder, I would get my kids names on my other shoulder, and I would get 1Corinthians 13:13 on the small of my back with Jon’s name under it. Two things stop me; that I would have them for the rest of my life and at 80+ years old when my skin is sagging they will look less than desirable and because it will hurt, I’m a big chicken.


If you had to chose between going the rest of your life without chocolate, or the rest of your life without fried foods, which would you choose to go without?
As I type this I am unwrapping and shoving Hershey’s Bliss Dark Chocolates in my mouth like I won’t ever eat them again and thinking these or French Fries. UGH, such a hard choice but I’m gonna give up the fried food. A girl and her chocolate shall never be parted.


If you were a superhero, what would your name be? What colors would your costume be? Would you wear a mask? Or just take of your glasses and slick your hair back? What would your superpowers be?

SuperGal for sure. My costume would be green and purple with splashes of silver, very stylish and form flattering. No cape, ask Edna why..(name the movie, come on!!)
No mask, just take off the glasses and slick back the hair. Hey it works for Superman.

My powers- Able to handle loads of laundry in a single bound, magic sleeping power over all babies in the land, saving lives and caring for people all while being stylish, polite and friendly.

 Brianne, Momma Such, and Dondi-
So seriously, your kids have such beautiful names, so I HAVE to ask, how did you come up with them?
Jon brought Dade to the table before we were even married. He says he heard the name once before in a movie, but has no idea what the movie is. I just loved the name and feel like it fits him. Unfortunately, people have a hard time hearing it or registering it when we tell them his name. He has been called Dane and Dave many many times. Dade’s middle name is Juan, which is Jon's given first name.


Brennan’s name was on the list when I was convinced we were going to have boy/girl twins as our girl name, Eli was the boy name. At the time we watched the show Bones. One of the lead characters names is Tempress Brennan. We just loved the name, even after researching that it is traditionally a boy’s name we liked it better for a girl. Brennan’s middle name is Maria-Elizabeth. Maria is Jon’s Baba’s name, he was very close to her and wanted to honor her. Elizabeth is my paternal grandmother’s middle name and I wanted to honor her as well.


Coralee—Ahhh Coralee..
When we found out we were having two girls we were stumped for a second name for a long time. Jon wanted a “theme” so to speak so we were looking for a “C” name BCD. I really wanted to name her Coral or Cora-Elizabeth both were shot down. I also suggested Campbell, Cameron, Callie..none of them.. Frankly I started to panic a little when at 30+ weeks we still did not have a second name. The babies could come at any minute and the thought of having a nameless baby hurt my heart. So tru to form we were IM’ing while at work and Jon was popping up name after name and I was the one shooting his suggestions down when Coralee popped up and I fell in love. Coralee’s middle name is Virginia which is my middle name, she is the 5th generation to hold that middle name.


Arizona Mamma-
Do you break wind openly around your husband?
Leave to my girl to take it there. Look, I’ve got no shame, you bet your arse (yes intended). If you gotta you gotta, after all this man helped change my sheets after I pee’d myself getting an epidural and saw my guts laying on my body during two c-sections. What’s a little gas when you got love like that. PLUS, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander right??


All these were in my original post, for giggles I thought I would answer them too-


What's your favorite movie?
I'm really bad with movies, I watch them and then I forget them. I do really enjoy the Lord fo the Rings Trilogy.

How often do you go to Mama haven aka Target?
At least once a week, but I have been know to go three days in a row all for stuff we needed.


Have you ever been arrested?
Negative


Do twins run in your family?
Now they do (chuckle, chuckle, snort) and jump and throw dying llama hissy fits. In all seriousness we are not aware of any twins that are related to us.

How long have you been married?
A whooping 5 years this September 24th.


Do you have your nipple pierced?
See the tattoo answer, heck to the no.

So do you still have a burning question, something that you must know? Well come on don't be shy leave it in the comments.

Me too

I know I have written many times that my middle school years were rough, then about a month ago I read a post by Molly telling here middle school story, "The one where I was bullied."  I realized that it's not just that middle school was difficult and hormonal, but I was bullied. Her post resonated with me, in a way that I have never thought before but of course my story is a little different.

When I entered middle school (6th grade) and the hormones "blossomed" my metabolism began to change and I gained some weight this in and of itself made me very self conscience about who I was, but I still had my group of friends. My middle school years initially started off with best friend flopping and note writing. As if you had something so important to tell your friend that it required a 2 – 3 page note after seeing them all day. Then of course there was the unspoken competition of who could fold their note the best. I didn’t necessarily hang out with the “cool kids” but I had my group. Sometime in 7th grade things started to change. My group of friends used to have conversations around me at the lunch table. If I tried to talk to them they wouldn’t acknowledge me, but rather make fun of the things I said. They stopped talking to me in class. Me being so naïve or maybe just dumb I didn’t pick up on it. Then summer break came along and finally 8th grade started. So did the rumors all kinds of things about me none of which were true. By November of my 8th grade year not a single person in my class spoke to me. I was made fun of regularly, accused of being gay. I was ostracized. In gym class everyone would sit away from me in the locker room, I was always picked last for anything, if there was “group” work it didn’t matter who I was paired with they wouldn’t talk to me. I visited the guidance counselor regularly, but nothing ever changed. No one at the school ever called my parents and I didn’t know how to talk to them. I internalized everything like it was somehow my fault and I needed to fix it. I was so alone, so lonely…


I’m not sure what changed in high school but something did, I never forgot those feelings. I never spoke to many of those people again, but envied that they were “cool” and had so many friends.

I realize that these 13 year old girls still have power over me and it makes me nuts. Several of them have “friended” me on facebook. I accepted said friendships in hopes that in some small way their life stinks now. I know it’s not right and from the looks of things life is perfect for them. Cute kids, nice stuff, they stay at home, have great bodies after babies, they are fans of everything, still best friends, married to their high school sweetheart blah, blah, blah…

Then I look at my life and wonder why I still care. Why haven’t I risen above these feelings and moved past it? Why do these 13 year old girls still have this power over me? I look at my babies and never want them to experience anything like this and I definitely don’t want them to be the bullies themselves.

This weekend was particularly bad for me. I was faced with a situation that brought out all these ugly feelings inside of me again, but instead of “taking it” I defended myself in my own bullying kind of way, when I should have extended grace.

How much longer will there be a part of me that feels 13? Inadequate? Inept? Weak?
Do these now women ever reflect on what was done, recognize the hurt that they left behind; do they teach their children differently?
Will I ever forgive and forget? I know in my heart that is what I need to do.

Like Molly my kids will know this story. I will share this weakness from my past in hopes that their lives will be different, changed, better.

Never say Never

I mentioned on Monday in tiny text that Brennan woke up on Monday night, had fitful sleep on and off until 1am when I finally put 2 & 2 together got that she had gas. Not one of my stellar mommy moments. Due to my exhaustion at 1am having not slept at all I let my lovie sack out in my bed and I laid next to here. I have been known to say in the past that my kids will never sleep in my bed.
So last night, I'm sitting on the floor in the front room with all the stuff I need to inventory and tag for the consignment sale on Saturday and I'm listening/peeking at LOST in the other room when I hear crying. Ufta!! really. So, thinking I'm smart I head her off at the pass and give her Mylicon drops after she lets out a big burp when I pick her up. Take her to my room; rock, rock, rock, pat, pat, pat. She is konked out, back in her bed she stand up and starts screaming. Maybe it's her teeth. Orajel applied. Eyes closed. Snoring. I do the limp arm test, anyone else do that? Back to her bed and repeat. Frustrated with the fact that she is waking up and I have a pile of stuff to tend to I leave her to slam stuff around downstairs clean-up. Jon says he will take over and that I should take a minute. I do. He gets her, puts her in bed, she falls asleep again. Rinse and repeat you get the idea. Three more times, we are being played. She will only sleep in our bed. Then it happened... We made the decision to let her cry it out. I have said over and over again that I would never ever EVAH do it. I thought I was going to melt into a giagantic puddle. I was a mess and envisioned that she was too with snot and possibly puke because she was crying so hard. After 5 minutes it was over there was silence (until 7am no less) and we all survived to see today. As I am wrapping this up she is crying again, but seems to be soothing herself. Am I the only with babies who can't seem to figure out that sleep is OH SO VERY GOOD???

When will I learn...

So I've been at this Mama to Multiples gig for a little over fifteen months now one would think that I could accurately guess my limitation on what I can handle on my own. I surely did when I made the girls doctor appointment with every intention of taking them on my own. I figured this would be easy peasy take them to the doctor armed with snacks and sippy-cups. Good to go!! Or you know this could happen..

-The lady I park next to stares me down as I unload my children from the car.
-When I unload the girls from the stroller (the exam rooms are too small for our gigantic stroller) Coralee starts to lose it.
-Undressing = crying
-The poor nurse assistant is so frazzled she writes the stats on the wrongs slips, did I mention both girls are beside themselves at this point.
-Snacks who wants snacks, crying, snot and drool, just for head measurements
-Everyone leaves the room and my angels return
-The exam room is easily 1000 degrees
-The doctor enters with an intern, Coralee flips again.
-The measurements don't seem write, DO OVER!! causes Coralee to gag on her cookie which is now all over my sweater
-Time for shots, Coralee is up first and crying because I'm not holding her, Brennan is at my feet attempting to push me away from the exam table mashing her cookie hands all over my pants.
-It's all over, Coralee has no tears left , but proceeds to wail loudly.
-The lady at check-out offers them lollipops and toys that would make them choke. "Thanks but really I just want to go home." (What I meant to say, "Lady, I have chewed up, semi thrown up cookie on me, I'm a hot sweaty mess and my kid won't stop crying how much is my flippin' co-pay?)

In the car on the way home Coralee konks out and Brennan talks to me and plays with her feet. And I have learned my lesson about the doctors office.

Did you know it is was National Margarita Day today yesterday? I feel that I earned one, with an extra shot of Patron and extra salt.*

*I meant to post this last night but as I was finishing up Brennan woke up and stayed awake for the most part until 1am, when I finally realized she was suffering gas pains and gave her Mylicon.

Somedays I really wonder if I'm even close to getting this mom thing, yesterday was definitely one of those days.

Happy Monday, errr Tuesday..

Lucky Chinese Tag...

No it's not something that was delivered with my take-out. It's kinda like a getting to know you award combo thing. I was tagged by one of my favorite peeps, Arizona Mamma

So the rules, I have to tell you my answers in each of the categories, then tag 8 new people.

8 TV Shows I Watch:

Modern Family

The Office

Seinfeld

Survivor

The Amazing Race

House Hunters

SuperNanny

Iron Chef

8 Favorite Places to Eat and Drink:

Mike's American Grill (it's been since forever)

Bonefish

Cheesecake Factory

Chick-Fil-A

Pei Wei

Panera

El Tio Tex-Mex Grill

Padrino's Pizza

8 Things I Look Forward To:

The Weekend

Date Nights (all too rare)

Bed-time for the kiddies

My Birthday

Bed-Time for Mama

A clean house

Church on Sunday

Hosting small group in our home in a few weeks

8 Things That Happened Yesterday:

Wiped noses

Wiped butts

Woke up at 4:20, 4:40, & 6:30

Watched the State of the Union

Had tacos for dinner

Struggled with a MAJOR project at work

Saved the day for someone else at work

Re-re-re-re-organized the toy baskets in the Family Room

8 Things I Love About Winter:

Snow (not the shoveling part)

Christmas

Soups & Stews

Sweaters

Football
Roaring Fires
Snuggling Under the Blankets 
Hot Cocoa with lots of Marshmellows and a Peppermint Stick

8 Things on My Wish List:

A new DSLR camera

The girlies to consistently sleep through the night

Spanish lessons

Winning the Lotto

A Nissan Armada

Singing Lessons

A new Coach purse
New Bedroom Furniture

8 Things I'm Passionate About:

Jesus

My husband (hubba-hubba)

My babies

Organization

Cooking

Baking
Blogging
Being Right(according to my husband)

8 Words/Phrases I Use Often:

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!

NO!! NO!!

Are you kiddin' me??

Soooo frustrating, GRRR

Who stinks?

5 more bites, please

How do you ask?

I LOVE YOU!!!

8 Things I've Learned From the Past:

I haven't always been the best judge of character

My past has made me who I am

It's ok to forgive yourself

Fairness is relative

Dreams really do come true

Life is NOT always easy

I am treasured by more people than I realize

I DO NOT know everything about parenting

8 Things I Currently Want/Need:

A new faster camera

New dress slacks

A garage door opener
New kitchen dish towels
Furniture for storage in our Dining Room
A New Trash Can in the Kitchen
A Cherry Coke
Our Old House to Sell

8 People I'd Like to Tag:

Helga at My World

Laura at The Bignell Family

Erin at Goldylocks & Her Three Bears

Brianne at Mommy's Time

Jen at Our Daily Life x 4

Sonora at Twinfinity

Dondi at Confessions of a Housewife

Lindsay at Table for Six

Finally did it...

Last night on my ride home from work my mind started drifting to a change I would like to make to my brand new blog. I know seriously what is wrong with me, it's brand new why do I need to change it. I just wanted to add a little more. More being a picture of me and the hubs, maybe a little description of each of the family members...

So when I got home I asked Jon to take a picture of me. Wouldn't you know the results suck are less than desirable?

**The photos I am showing are not all of them. Believe when I tell you our photo shoot was a disater that included my husband at one point accidentally setting the timer delay on the camera and lots of laughter.

Take 51

Jon, "Ummm, no you look stoned."

Me, "Fantastic"

Take 56

Jon (laughing), "WHY did you close your eyes?"

Me, "FOR REAL, HOW hard can it be to take a picture?"

Take ??? (Who knows)

Can't----stop--laughing.... LOVELY!!!

A self potrait in the bathroom...

What awful lighting.. Photo Shoot fail...So much for my hair brain idea to post a picture of myself.

I took some pictures of the girls to update their profiles and when I uploaded them I lost the photo border. So that is my project for tonight. I e-mailed Jenna at Bloggy Blog but feel like a heel since I've had my new design for 1 WHOLE DAY...

Featured Mama, That's Me!!

On Wednesdays Julia at Sweet as Punkin Pie hosts Working Mom Wednesday, she asks a question and usually has a featured mom. Today I'm that Mama. Yeah, me!! Saah-weet!! Despite having the crud of a cold my week is looking up. First my new blog layout (that I already messed up, UGH!) and now I'm featured. Now before you head over to Julia's to read my interview, please read my answer to this week's question.



 This weeks question- What chore do you absolutely loathe? 

I really like the word loathe. There isn't too much in life that I loathe. I'm ok with washing the potties it's quick and easy. Now let me be honest here since I do work full-time, Jon agreed to allow us to pay to have a cleaning service come in every other week. I let them wash the toilets, I know it's so kind of me. I don't mind washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen, sweeping over and over and over like I mentioned here. Laundry, meh! I can take it or leave it, I don't mind folding it, but I loathe absolutely 100% putting said laundry away.

See..

Basket #1 in my room

Basket #2 in my room

Basket #3 in my closet

 (all of that needs to be hung, oh and pay no mind to the roll of Christmas wrapping paper)

It's not just in my room. This basket can be found in the girls room.

It does all eventually get put away, you know when I need a basket for a new load of laundry and half of the clothes in the basket have been taken out and worn. Maybe I should just buy more laundry baskets..

Ok, now go check me out over at Julia's...

Welcome to all of you stopping by from Julia's feature. I'm glad to have you here, please leave a comment and let me know you stopped by.

I think I can, I think I can...

What a day weekend.. I believe my little cold is evolving to a sinus infection. yippee!! To boot today I had a killer headache and the to-do list to compete with Santa's but it's all done kind of so that allows be the time to participate in Keely's Sunday Funday...on with the show.

The questions..






Waffles, pancakes or french toast?
Oh, hands down and ten times on Sunday, PANCAKES, buttery, melt in your mouth, hot off the griddle, with the perfect amount of maple syrup. Too bad it's 10pm and I shouldn't be making pancakes or eating them.

Dream home..What would it look like?

The best part is the floor plan but I love the outside too.

Favorite sport to watch during the Winter Olympics?
I really like to watch the sports you don't ever see any other time like the bobsled, luge and curling. To hear the stories behind the people that are competing and the training that those athletes go through.

The first word that comes to mind when describing yourself?
Normally, organized. Today though sick, blah..

Dresses, pants (jeans, leggings, etc.) or skirts?
In order to catch me in a dress or skirt someone is getting married. Jeans, sweatpants, pj pants, dress pants ALL THE WAY.

What is your favorite time of day?
Despite the rush to get food ready (during the week) and everyone seated my favorite time of the day is dinner. When the five of us sit down and we hear about Dade's day. I can't wait for the day when the girls join in the conversation and make less mess while eating.

Beach or Mountains..which do you prefer?
Hands down the beach but the water has to be clear. I need to be able to see my tootsies when I'm in the water.

Will you watch the Super Bowl?
You betcha at a party no less on a "school night" eating from an appetizer buffet. I like me some dippy food.

Whew!! Once again I joined Keely's bloggy carnival near the last minute, but I did indeed make it. So, how's about you, how would you answer the questions: tell me in the comments. Don't forget to head over to Keely's to check out here answers and click on the other participants.

Till tomorrow

Haiti on My Heart

Did you know before the earthquake last Tuesday that Haiti was already considered one of the world's poorest countries?

Did you know before the earthquake last Tuesday that over 380,000 children lived in orphanages or group homes in Haiti?

Did you know that since the earthquake last Tuesday tens of thousands of children have been orphaned? Source

Did you know it is statistics like this that make for the perfect breeding of evil?

I'm talking about human trafficking, also known as slavery. Children who have lost everything and everyone that they know, will be taken under the wing of someone who pretends to "care" and be sold. Did you know this was happening? It's oh so very real and sad, as I type this tears are streaming down my face at the thought of the atrocities that some of these children will endure. That their innocence will be stolen, that the child like twinkle in their eye will be snuffed out. Source

It hurts my heart to think this topic is taboo or too hard to deal with, that in this article, the idea is given one sentence near the bottom.

"Meanwhile, U.N. humanitarian chief John Holmes said the United Nations is establishing a group on the ground in Haiti to protect children — orphans and non-orphans alike — against trafficking, kidnapping and sex abuse."

 I'm not sure when Mr. Holmes said this, but the article was written two days ago, it's hard to say how many children have already slipped through the cracks.

What can I do? I feel helpless to assist just to read the number tens of thousands makes me feel defeated before I even start.  To start I am shining my light into the darkness

I understand the desperate need to give to the humanitarian relief in Haiti, but there is also a need to donate to the agencies that will protect these sweet, newly orphaned, scared children. Here are a few of the organizations that can help –  

PADF – Pan American Development Foundation

Planting Peace – Referenced in one of the above articles operates orphanages in Haiti

Christian Life Foundation – Also mentioned in one of the referenced articles

Thou times are tight for us, as they are for many people Jon and I will be donating to at least one of these agencies and maybe all of them. We are both heartbroken for all the people in Haiti who are experiencing immeasurable loss, but our biggest concern is for the children. We have had several discussions about doing more, but right now traveling to help is out of the question. So we will do what we can, as I finished this post I was reminded of The Starfish Story…

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"
by Loren Eiseley Source

If you feel called to give please do so, if you feel called to more please e-mail one of the agencies above to see how you can help further, and if not please pray for the protection of these children. You can make a difference, even if it is just for one.

Just another Sunday Funday...

...wish it was Saturday, cuz that's my date night, my I don't have to bathe my kids night, it's just another Sunday Funday....Ohhhh oo ohhhhhhhh

I'm joining in on Keely's fun.




This week's questions---

Hair color..Au naturale..or not?
Yes, au naturale with highlights, but soon it may need to be more becasue these kids are graying me.

If somebody has food in their teeth or lipstick on their teeth do you tell them?
If I know them yes, if not I need to feel them out for approachability.

Would you rather have a million dollars or your vision of the perfect body?
Umm, hello a million bucks would buy me the perfect bod and I'd still have some fundage left over to do other stuff.

Favorite magazine?
Parents, it's the only mag I get so by default it's my favorite.

Bra style..lacey or plain?
Bah-or-ing and plain

If you walked into Victoria's Secret..would you most likely come out with something sexy or comfy?
Hmm, not likely to walk into a VS, but I would shop on-line and buy up some sweaters. I <3 Vicky's sweaters.

Do you fake and bake?
Not since just before my wedding and probably not ever again.

What's your favorite body part on a man?
MMMMM nothing like some strong shoulders and back MEEEEEE-OWWWWWW!!!

So how bout ya'll answer and link up over at Keely's she is donating $.25 for everyone that does or you can leave your answers in the comments or at the very least tell me whose song I re-worded (is that a word) in the beginning of this post.

Happy Sunday!! Time to bathe the children...

2010- Project ME

This is a really tough post to write & post. I'm very sensitive to the information that I am going to share. In the interest of blogging boldly and promising this year was the year of the project I must look at myself.

Since the sixth grade, at the lovely pre-pubescent age of 11, I have been putting on weight. Even now at the age of 32 I look back on my years in middle school as the worst years of my life; chalk it up to hormones, trying to figure out who I was, unknown emotions of my former stay-at-home mom returning to work, or the "friends" that were so close one day then nasty, hateful and mean the very next. Those three years far overshadow being single until I was 28, job loss, financial struggles, and sleep deprivation of a new or not so new baby. In middle school I started self medicating with food and the vicious cycle has continued for years. Food, ultimately made me feel worse afterwards but in the moment I was able to squash my emotions in chips or ice cream. So here I am in my early thirties, mom to three beautiful active children, wife to the man I dreamt of marrying for years and I'm not happy with me. I'm overweight, very overweight. I'm still pretty healthy all things considered, great blood pressure, below average resting heart rate, low cholesterol, but I don't feel comfortable in my own skin or in clothes for that matter. There are lumps and bumps and rolls where there shouldn't be. You may wonder why I don't post pictures of myself. Well it's because they aren't taken too frequently and when they are I can hardly believe it is me. In my head I'm not quite that big. Yes, I did have three kids in a little over two years, but each time I lost the weight almost instantly. It wasn't until I went back to work that the pounds crept higher and higher.  So what to do--- I have an excuse for everything and while there is some validity to each of them it's time to step up to the plate and take charge of this, some of it may be bad genetics and a bum thyroid, but most of it I need to own. I want to feel better about myself and have more energy. So project me-

Þ    Go see an endocrinologist

o       Get blood work done for my thyroid and take the 2 hour diabetes test

Þ    Portion control

o       More fruits and veggies

o       Ix-nay on the sweets and soda

Þ    Exercise – my nemesis, I feel like this is the hardest to "find" the time, but it really needs to be me making the time.

o       30 Day Shred- I'm jumping on the bandwagon; thanks to Kate for inspiring me.

Þ    Sleep

o       In bed lights out by 10:30 every night.

And if that wasn't enough..some other areas of the me project.

I can be quick tongued and snarky many times it is intended to be and is funny, but my sharpness can also hurt feelings. So as I tear down the emotional wall that are attached to my weight I will also try to be softer and more compassionate while still maintaining a little "edge" that defines me.

Finally, I want to be a better friend. It seems like there just aren't enough hours in the day. I am not good at e-mailing and calling to keep in touch, so friends slip to the bottom of my to-do list. I hope now that the kids are a little older and we have a pretty good schedule that I can get out for some girl time one Saturday afternoon a month (for now).

So, I've laid my self out and opened a wound for all the world to see in hopes that I will keep account with my friends (IRL & blog) and they will ask me how I'm doing along the way.  Do you have a Project Me list?

Getting to know ME, getting to know allll abbbooouuttt ME

It's Sunday and I'm having kind of a blah day, dealing with alot of personal stuff that I would rather not think about, so I'm glad for a little comic relief with Keely's getting to know you Sunday. Aaannnnd away we go...


 
1. If you were stranded on a desert island and could pick one person to be stranded with you..Who would you pick? Family members not included.
I'm glad that family members are excluded, because I surely wouldn't be able to choose between the hubs and my kiddos. Now with that said, I really do not know who I would choose. At first I thought Andrew Zimmern from Bizarre Foods on the Travel Channel given all the crazy stuff he has eaten, though I'm quite sure after about 1 day into our drama he would be on my every last nerve. So I guess I'll choose Survivorman, Les Stroud, fake or not he has to know something right? I find Bear Grylls annoying and don't care much for his politics.

2. Do you read celebrity gossip?
I occasionally check out Wonderwall or flip Access Hollywood on the TV, but truthfully have enough of my own life and drama to worry about people with tons of money.

3. Favorite show you're waching this season?
I watch way more TV than I care to admit but not much is must see, well except Survivor and the Amazing Race. We are "reality" junkies.

4. How tall are you?
5'4" and 1/2 The 1/2 makes a huge difference or not really.

5. What was the last book you read?
Clifford's Bedtime - when I laid Dade down for his nap. Oh! wait you meant for me..Lose it for Life and I read it before I was pregnant with the twins. I surely need to re-read it for a refresher.

6. Flats or heels?
Both. Sometimes I go for comfort sometimes I go for style. I love love love heels, but they don't love snow and ice, so lately it's been flats alot.

7. If you had to choose one natural disaser to go through, what would you choose..Earthquake, Tornado, or Hurricane?
Ummm, hmmm I guess a hurricane. I mean really, what is the criteria for choosing which natural disaster would be "easiest" to handle...

8. Thong, panties, or (gasp) granny panties?
Ufta, Keely!! my dad read's this. All three and sometimes none at any given point but not all at the same time.

Your turn, answer here in the comments or post on your blog then link up to Keely.

P.S.- HOW 'BOUT THEM RAVENS HON!!! Next up the horseshoes are going down...

P.P.S- This chic took a whooping 1hour and 45minute nap completely invading my me time. She also keeps pulling her pony out and I might be cutting her hair.