Friday, January 15, 2010

2010 - Project Us

As a recap I have labeled this year the "Year of the Project" you can find my other project posts here and here.

Next up is US. No not YOU and me. Him and me, the love of my life, the father of my children, the maker of my coffee, the hottest man on the planet (yes, I know I'm partial).

A little history about us, you know if you are new here. With the words, "What God has joined together let no man separate. I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride." On September 24, 2005 we became one, joined together for life. Over the next three plus a smidge years, we added three beautiful children to our family, purchased 2 homes, bought 4 cars, lost two jobs and had taken four pay cuts. There were good times and bad times, and we made it through changed, stronger and weaker, closer and farther apart.
For US the hardest part has been defining and re-defining our relationship after the addition of our children. When Dade was born I mourned the loss of what our relationship was, we were able to be selfish and focus solely on each other and now there was another person that demanded all of our attention. It took time, but we eventually trusted him to others and re-connected on dates. Just as we had "hit our groove" along came the sweet girlies and our world turned upside down over and over again. For us having two babies at once was hard, really hard. We lost touch with each other, we did life side-by-side instead of together as a team, but we didn't realize it. We were tired, stressed, overwhelmed. Jon and I don't fight; we never really have we snip at each other when we are frustrated or hurt rather than talk about our feelings eventually it all comes out, but over time and some damage is done that needs to be repaired. We are reaching our groove as a family of five and this year we need to re-connect. Our kids need to see Mama and Papa put each other first, they need to see us be loving to each other, they need to witness a healthy relationship at home and we need some alone time…

Þ   Once a month, a date
o   Re-connect, try not to talk about the kids
Þ   Once a quarter, a night away
o   Send the kids away or stay away from the house
o   Do not have a to-do list
Þ   Once this year, a weekend away
o   Oh my gosh!! I can't wait. I'm not sure what we will do or how we will pay for it, but I'm SOOO excited.

*- Please know we both love and cherish our children more than words and we do not in any way, shape, form, or fashion blame them for anything that happened between us. As I said above we didn't realize what we were allowing to happen to our relationship.


Miss. Candy said...

I really like this post!! It is really important to be a couple, it helps you parent better I think! I struggled with this as well (with my exhusband and my new husband), but a few months ago I gave up a bit of control and let people help me with the kids so we could have some "us" time. I was so bad that the kids even came on our honeymoon when I married my 2nd husband, my kids called the "familymoon"! Good luck and HAVE FUN!!! :) Can't wait to read your posts about your date nights with the hubby!

Laura said...

What a great post, how cool that you are so honest about it!! I think every relationship is effected by children, it's only natural. And you're totally right, it's just something us as the parents need to work on and I think it's awesome you are going to make sure you get that time together!! :)

I am Lee-Ann... said...

I think those are great goals and something that I would like to work on as well. I wish my youngest would sleep through the night so I could actually leave her somewhere!

Julia said...

Good luck!! it' definitely something you HAVE to schedule ahead or it keeps getting put off!! can't wait to hear more about it!