About this time last year I was learning to adjust to my life as a mama to three. My parents had recently left our home after staying with us for almost a month to help with Dade while I was in the hospital and then to just help wherever I needed them. I was in the throws of sleep deprivation some days not knowing how I was going to make it to the next day, hour or minute. Wondering how I would ever be able to take care of three children on my own, keep the laundry going, make dinner, shower daily. Obviously we made it, and I did get a shower EVERY day, but my oh my was it hard. Had you asked me then if I thought I would have more children I surely would have told you "NO!!" and in a moment of weakness and desperation added a few expletives to drive home my point.
At six months old when we took that fateful trip to the beach to see a dear friend graduate from college. After my dreadful night of sleeping in bed with one baby laying in my lap and propping one on a pillow next to me to get a mere 3 hours of sleep. My answer to the question, "Do you think you will have more?" Would have likely only have been expletives followed by a sheepish "no." I felt sad at six months that the girls weren't sleeping, were still spitting up A LOT, that I had to work, that Dade wasn't getting the attention that he needed, that he should have been potty trained by now (May of this year), like I was a failure.
Now 13 months into the ride, I'm kind of sad to think this could be the last time I see a baby of mine turn one, take their first steps, feed themselves, talk,
sleep through the night. Am I ready to have a baby tomorrow? No. At the very least I have to wait 6 months due to new health insurance. Jon has always wanted 4 kids, I wanted 3. I prayed for twins so that I could have two pregnancies and be done. I remember talking about this with a friend turns out I was pregnant with the girls when we had that conversation. I am quickly warming to the idea of one more, but what if it's more than one, well that I can't come to grips with. Based on the timeline we are discussing and other factors to include the fact that we already have twins the chances are indeed higher.
Are you done adding to your family? What are some factors you considered when determining your family size? Haven't even started, how many do you think you want? Did you and your spouse differ in the number of children you want(ed)? Have you been "complete" for a while and wished you had added more?