Monday, January 4, 2010

Bubble Boy Man

This is my husband….

I recently did an ooey-gooey post about him on his birthday, you can read it here.
He has many amazing and fantastic qualities.

He is—

handsome (clearly you can see that by looking at the picture, ok now you can stop ogling now)
loving (you should see him with the kids)
has a great sense of humor
and is a Klutz

That last quality is what brings about this post today.  I recently threatened my husband that I would be putting him in a bubble in hopes of protecting him from, well, himself. Let's picture this, my 5' 11" husband in a giant hamster ball type contraption. Now you may be saying to yourself, Heidi, "Why in the WORLD would you want to put your husband in a bubble?"

Let me share some things with you that happened just this weekend.

-         After putting away Christmas decorations we were lounging in the living room watching the kids play with there new toys when 3-2-1 Brennan plops on Jon's face smashing his glasses into his head. Every time he gets on the floor to play with the kids approximately 3 seconds pass before he gets his face smashed, the wind knocked out of him or 20-30 lbs of kid to the nether regions each occurrence renders him useless for several minutes. For me, I can be on the floor a good 10-15 minutes and then the kids just get bored with me being there.
-         Trying to be silly, my dear sweet husband attempted to shimmy himself under a baby gate into the family room like the kids do and he couldn't because of his shoulders. But then he was stuck and I was changing a poopy diaper, there he is with his head wedged under the gate saying OW!! I'm stuck. He was finally able to free himself before I was able to move the gate. A few moments later in the kitchen I saw it, blood. He was bleeding on his chin, How? Was all I could say.
-         While playing a rousing game of CandyLand, the hubs was munching on a candy cane. (kinda ironic) Then I hear him mutter something and heads to the kitchen. He had cut his tongue. How does this happen?? How??  But wait it gets better, in an attempt to stop the bleeding he was using a paper towel and choked himself.
-         Finally, on Saturday while at Costco loading the car with our wares he bonked his head on the minivan. There was nothing protruding from the van he just randomly whacked the ole noggin and gave himself a headache.

All these things happened just this weekend. Add them to the list of random cuts on his hands, bruises from who knows where and the occasionally tripping on nothing and it's just a recipe for disaster. So I threatened the bubble..

His response, "Oh, I guess I won't be able to help with the dishes or laundry."

...and with that the bubble idea is out the window.

**Disclaimer- No husband was hurt in the creation of this post and he did verbally consent and give an eye roll when I mentioned writing this.


Mama M. said...

Now, THAT, is hilarious!! What is it about guys and swift blows to their, um, "Netherlands"?! Sheesh...

Mama M. said...

Now, THAT, is hilarious!! What is it about guys and swift blows to their, um, "Netherlands"?! Sheesh...

Adriane said...

HA! The irony of playing Candyland and eating a candy cane. Cracked me up!!!!!