Whew...that was a long time..

Hello friends... Is anyone still out there? Am I still in anyone's blog roll?

I wish I could tell you I have been off traveling the world or doing something equally as fantastically fun, but that is not the case.

Here is a little note I wrote about a month ago...

Depression is lonely
Depression is scattered
Depression is not sleeping
Depression is over eating
Depression is physical pain
Depression is intense emotions
Depression is putting a smile on when you aren't having any fun.
Depression is feeling alone and pushing everyone away
Depression is faking it but never really making it
Depression is tears and rage and dismal
Depression is yelling and screaming for no good reason
Depression is pushing your husband away but you don't want to be alone
Depression is a slippery slope into a chasm of empty
Depression is Me..


Four months ago while searching Dr. Google for the answer to my insomnia, I was regularly functioning on 3 to 4 hours of sleep day in and day out, I stumbled upon this quiz from our new health insurance.
I took the test for three days straight before I said a word to anyone. It took another 2 months before I saw the doctor. I am a fake it til you make it girl that was/is severly depressed. I had spent the last 3+ years thinking I could shake this off and nothing was shaking except my interest in life. I was embarassased by a label of weakness that I was placing on myself. Today I am on medicine and I am getting better slowly. I was at the bottom of a very deep hole and it will take some time to get out. I miss my life, I miss me, I miss being a part of the awseome things that God has given me. I'm sorry for my actions to myself but more importantly to others especially my family.


Life is too hard to do alone and we shouldn't give up. If you feeling these things or if you take the test and the results are not favorable seek out a doctor to help you. More than anything life is worth living fully.


Much Love....

H